Living in the country we have days in which the UPS man pulling into the yard is the most traffic we see all day. I had been waiting and waiting to see that brown truck this week and every day that passed with nothing was another day I sulked just a little. Today he came and he had boxes. Two of them.
My heart skipped a beat and I brought them in and put them on the table. Since I knew what was inside I couldn’t bring myself to open them right away. I was nervous. I had heart palpitations and sweaty palms, I may have even let a little fart slip out as I jumped up and down in my excitement. Then the reality sunk in. Inside these boxes are books. Not a bunch of books that I ordered to read for my own enjoyment. Books. THESE books:
<cue the tears> These are books that contain my words. Some of them may be dirty and to some inappropriate, but they are still mine. My thoughts. My words. ACK! It wasn’t real until I saw them and held one in my hands. Now it’s official. This is REALLY HAPPENING!
I grabbed the top one and opened it up and glanced at the table of contents and I think my knees buckled just a little. To look at all those names of so many amazing women all in one place, with my name among them, was something that simply took my breath away. It isn’t like it is a new development, this book has been in the works for months. Some of these women I knew before. Some of them I had read but didn’t know personally. All of them I am getting to know better and better every day.
Since I operate on full disclosure and honesty I feel that I have to tell you that I have actually NOT read this book yet. Not because I don’t want to, but because I’m afraid to and I didn’t have a copy. When asked to contribute the list of other contributors was not disclosed. I knew that Jen (People I Want to Punch in the Throat) would put together an amazing list of contributors and that alone made it difficult to write anything somewhat coherent. I struggled for a month to write my piece for her and after a TON of editing I closed my eyes and hit the send button. Once I discovered who all the incredible writers were that were going to be joining me on this adventure, I may have thrown up a little. These are some of the most talented and hilarious women on the interwebs. Now I am in print with them. Mind. Blown.
What I do know without even reading one single page is that this book is AMAZING. To have thirty-seven amazing women all together inside one cover, brilliant. To see thirty-seven women working together to make it succeed, brilliant. To see thirty-seven women who may not necessarily share the same sense of humor or writing styles or beliefs do something so incredible is eye-watering. I’m honored to be a part of this incredible adventure and can’t wait to see where it takes us.
I am in awe of their abilities. I am humbled to be considered a writer of their caliber. I’m still shittin bricks that my name is in that table of contents with all of these lovely ladies:
People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Insane in the Mom Brain
The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva
Rants From Mommyland
The Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess
My Life and Kids
Bad Parenting Moments
Let Me Start By Saying
Four Plus an Angel
Binkies and Briefcases
Kelley’s Break Room
Toulouse & Tonic
Hollow Tree Ventures
The Fordeville Diaries
Mom’s New Stage
Nurse Mommy Laughs
The Dose of Reality
The Mom of the Year
Life on Peanut Layne
Cloudy, With a Chance of Wine
Confessions of a Cornfed Girl
I Love Them Most When They’re Sleeping
You’re My Favorite Today
Funny is Family
My Real Life
So, let’s cut the sappy shit, fricken PMS. Who wants to win a copy? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? (Sorry, couldn’t resist) I’m going to give away at least one copy of “I Just Want to Pee Alone”. It will be the winner’s choice of either a paper copy or a Kindle copy. Depending on my mood and the number of entries, I may decide to do more copies you never know. The winner(s) will be announced on Tuesday morning. The more entries there are, the greater the chances of more copies to be handed out…for FREE!!!!
Don’t want to wait to see if you win? Want to buy a copy for your sister/girlfriend/wife/mother-in-law/OB-GYN/most hated enemy? It won’t even cost you your first born child. Here is all the info. Once you read it, be sure to express your love for the book with a positive review on Amazon. We will worship the ground you walk on if you do
Get it delivered to your door via Amazon: I Just Want to Pee Alone
Download it to your Kindle here: I Just Want to Pee Alone
You Nook users can download it here: I Just Want to Pee Alone
You can even get it from iTunes here: I Just Want to Pee Alone