We all have special causes that we support. Things that we feel so strongly about that we send in money, or we take a pledge vowing to do something. I took a pledge to never use the r-word and to teach my children to do the same. I support my friend Drew and his mother and their efforts to support research to find a cure for childhood cancers. There are hundreds of thousands of causes out there. Most are very important and deserve more attention than they receive. Others….not so much.
The newest “cause” sweeping the interwebs is this new effort to ban the b-word. Nooooo, not bitch. Bossy. Yes, I said bossy. Go ahead and roll your eyes and then come back to me.
According to dictionary.com, bossy is defined as given to ordering people about; overly authoritative; domineering. Sounds like my girls (and their friends, and my boys, and every other kid you come across) any day of the week.
I get it, truly I do. We need to empower our girls and help them to be confident and assertive. We want them to be leaders and we want them to be strong. We want them to succeed and achieve all the goals that they have set for themselves.
#banbossy has pulled out all the stops. They’ve recruited Beyoncé and Jane Lynch. Even Condoleeza Rice is on board for this. All strong, confident, successful women.
Women I’m sure have all been called bossy a time or two and judging by their level of success, I’d be willing to bet the word fits. You just cannot achieve all that these amazing women have achieved without ordering people about and being overly authoritative. If you think otherwise, I’ve got three million dollars with your name on it. All I need is your bank account number and social security number and I’ll deposit it into your account by tomorrow.
Beyoncé said it herself in this promotional video. ”I’m not bossy. I’m the boss.” Um….hello pot, kettle calling. Boss (n): a person who makes decisions, exercises authority, dominates.
How interesting. We should not tell our girls that they are bossy (domineering), but instead they are the boss (one who dominates). I’m no genius here, but something is a little off.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am not a big supporter of this cause. It’s absolutely redonkadonk, so I thought I would put together a list of things that should be significantly more important than the drive to #banbossy. (in no specific order)
- Making sure my children are fed, clothed, and loved.
- Feeding the homeless
- Finding a cure for cancer and hundreds of other diseases.
- Farmer Bob really needs some new work jeans.
- Educating our kids to be respectful and kind to others.
- The fact that I shaved my legs yesterday.
- Atrocities around the world.
- Will winter ever end?
- Will my kids have math homework tonight?
- I need to go grocery shopping.
- Chin hair
- Pharrell’s new album
- Cleaning my toilets
- Creating jobs
- Helping those in need
- Teaching our kids right from wrong
- What should I cook for dinner tonight?
- I really should call my mother today
- Why does oil-pulling sound so gross?
- How can these little people have so much gas?
The point is, what in the hell are we doing here? There are so many other solutions to this *cough* problem. Maybe we should just take a minute as parents and look in the mirror. Our kids are our responsibility. It is our job to teach them and to guide them. We cannot wrap them in bubble wrap and expect them to emerge from their plastic cocoon as functioning adults. I feel like Susan Powter “STOP the INSANITY!”
When I asked my eleven-year-old her thoughts on this, she looked at me with that look of “are you freaking kidding me?” and informed me that it’s dumb. Her words, not mine. She will openly admit that she is bossy and she has no problem with that. Confidence….she has some.
So instead of trying to ban the word bossy, maybe we should focus more on instilling in our girls (and boys) the self-confidence that they need to succeed in life. With self-confidence comes the ability to succeed. It doesn’t matter if someone thinks you are bossy. I bet Beyoncé would agree with that.