I’m Mediocre and I’m OKAY With That

I’ve been having some issues lately.  Mental ones I suppose, since physically I feel pretty good (except for the terrible case of writer’s ass, but that’s my own fault).  Issues I’ve had a hard time diagnosing due to trying to fit ten pounds of shit in a five-pound sack on a daily basis.  Go here, go there, do this, fill this out, write this check, go back over here, answer this phone call, respond to this email, wipe this ass, clean up this vomit, do the laundry, go back to the first place you went, and don’t forget to cook supper.  Of course expected to do it all with a smile on my face and confidence in my eyes.  You all know what I mean.  Living in the fog of bullshit and the appearance that we know what in the hell we are doing.

I realized that I can’t continue the act.  I just can’t.  I can’t pretend that I have it all together because I don’t.  I can’t pretend that I have the slightest clue what I’m doing with my kids because quite frankly I’m winging it.  I won’t pretend that life is all rainbows and glitter because there are days when shoveling a barn full of cow shit would be more enjoyable than dealing with the cards that we have been dealt.  I’m here to make a confession today my friends.  I just have to get this off my chest and run with it.

I’m mediocre.

That’s right, I said it.  Mediocre.

Now I don’t want you all to be making comments to smooth the waters and boost my ego, that’s not why I’m telling you this.  I’m telling you this because I want you to know that it’s OKAY to be mediocre.  DO YOU HEAR ME?  IT’S OKAY TO BE MEDIOCRE.

Yes, I’m yelling at you because I want you to hear me.  Say it with me:  IT’S OKAY TO BE MEDIOCRE.

I'm Down With It

I’m Down With It

I don’t mean to settle for being mediocre, we should never settle for being mediocre.  What I do mean that it is OKAY TO BE MEDIOCRE from time to time.

No one is going to run from you screaming if they see you in yoga pants with no makeup on and your hair in a messy bun at the grocery store.

It isn’t going to kill your kids if they eat pizza and ice cream with a soda chaser for supper every once in a while.

You aren’t going to burn in hell for yelling at your kids to PICK UP THEIR SHIT.

The teachers at school aren’t going to think any less of you if you forget that permission slip.  For the third day in a row.

While your tween may be raging pissed at you for not letting her have a Facebook/Pinterest/Instagram account because the rules say you must be 13 and damn it, she’ll have plenty of time to lie about her age when she gets older.  She will get over it.

If you don’t clean the toilets today, you will have a second chance to wipe them with a clorox wipe clean them tomorrow.

Taking the kids out for dinner and a movie is always a great surprise.  Even if by “dinner and a movie”  you really mean running through the drive-thru and the kids eat in the backseat while the DVD player is on.

Having one of those days in which you just want to run away to a tropical island with Johnny Depp while you catch up on some reading while having drinks in your private cabana?  Totally normal.  Maybe not the Johnny Depp part, but you know what I mean.

Getting so tired of stepping on Legos and looking at Barbie’s skinny ass that you just want to throw it all into trash bags and forget about it?  Join the club.

Fighting the urge to send your kids outside to play then locking the door behind them is nothing to be alarmed about.  As long as you don’t actually act on it.  For too long.

Oh, you locked yourself in the bathroom this morning in order to take your morning constitutional alone?  Pooping in peace is an acceptable expectation. Never properly acknowledged (as you could probably tell by the constant knocking on the door), but completely acceptable.

Cereal for dinner?  Fuck it, why not.

Shushing your three-year-old because you are trying to watch your friend on Good Morning America?  Hell yes that’s acceptable.  It’s not everyday I get to say I know someone famous.

Here’s what I want you know.  On those days in which you feel like you are failing as a parent, you aren’t.   When you see that kid with the perfect lunch, know that their mom probably just went shopping and re-stocked.  They will most likely be eating peanut butter and jelly with a few cracker crumbs and marshmallows by next week.  No matter how bad you think it is and how alone you may feel and how much you believe you totally suck as a parent, know that you aren’t alone and you don’t suck.

Know that I’ll be right here, becoming even more comfortable with my mediocrity and I’ve got your back.


Cake in a Glass? Yes, PLEASE!

Girls night out. They don’t come very often, so when they do I like to make the most out of them.  When my cousin, the Enabler, asked me to run away with her for an entire child-free evening for a visit to our Alma Mater I just had to make it happen.  Childcare, check.   Bags packed, check.  Cash in hand, check.  Legs shaved, oops.

We quickly forget how lovely it is to escape every once in a while.  Eating a hot meal without having to cut up something for someone or stopping halfway through to take someone to the potty.   To enjoy a nice summer beer while you properly chew your food instead of  taking a bite and choking it down while you chase your three-year-old across the restaurant.  To sit and enjoy adult conversation instead of taking half of your meal home to eat later because your kids can’t keep their hands off each other and they are crying because you flicked them all on the ear (I would never do that, but I’ve heard of it happening <ahem>).

To shop without chasing kids through the racks.

To go to a bar and enjoy a beer (or three).

Then you wake up and it hits you.  Something big is coming up soon.  It’s sneaking up on you like all your kids’ birthdays.  You can’t quite put your finger on it.  It’s a holiday you are pretty sure, but all the days run together so that is a total stab in the dark.


Oh. Snap.  Easter is coming.  Soon.  Ham, potatoes, all the fixin’s.  Easter baskets.  Candy.  Peeps.  Crap.

Are we required to make Easter crafts?  Do we need cute little centerpieces and fancy place mats?  What exactly should I be doing in preparation?  Should I be baking cookies and planning out a fancy cake? What will we eat?  What will we drink?  Will the Easter Bunny bring good stuff for the kids’ baskets?  Can I put out my own basket and he will fill it with special gifts just for me *wine/chocolates*?

I started thinking about my kids and what they always hope the Easter Bunny will bring them.  The usual suspects; chocolate bunnies and Peeps. Toys and books.  I am always un-prepared and usually over-purchase and we end up eating Peeps for weeks.  Normally not a bad thing, but since I am trying to loosen my jeans instead of make them tighter,  I needed to come up with a way to thin out the Peeps.  My way.

I started doing some basic research.  I was imperative to come up with something creative and after watching this video for Peeps,  I started asking myself  what is MY “Peepsonality”?  Go ahead.  Watch it.  I can wait.  WATCH IT.  *taps toes*

I decided to take it to the next level and go to the Peeps website for ideas and had a hard time finding something to fit me.  You all know me well enough by now.  I don’t do crafts, kids with scissors and glue guns scare me.  I bake, but my jeans advised me to pursue other options.  What is something that I can do?  Hmmmm…. Well,  I do  like to enjoy a nice drink at night.  Maybe I’m on to something here.  Sometimes it is wine, sometimes it is a beer, but for Easter I needed something good.  Like a dessert in a glass.

I decided to take my idea to the bars while out with my girls.  Would something light and fruity work?  Nope.  Something sweet and sugary? Nope.  Something chocolaty and delicious?  Ladies and gentlemen, we have a WINNER!!!!

I needed a professional’s assistance, so with a little help from our very young and charming with a stellar taste in music bartender Tony at Porter’s bar in  Manhattan, Kansas (when I say young I really mean that even though Tony and I graduated from the same high school, it wasn’t in the same century young) we came up with the idea for this delightful beverage.  There was some intensive research involved in this process both at the bar, and at home.  I can only hope that you appreciate all the hard work I do for you all.

It took a few tries to get the right combination.  Luckily Farmer Bob, the chocolate connoisseur, was available this weekend to be my official test taster.  Some were too chocolaty (is that possible?).  Some were too vanilla-y (is that a word?).  After some trial and error, and a few shots just for good measure, we settled on this recipe.  It really is like a slice of black forest cake in a glass:


Peeps in the Forest

Equal parts UV Chocolate Cake and Cherry Vodka 
Splash of UV Vanilla Vodka
Dr. Pepper to taste
Make sure to sugar your rim.
Dip Peep in chocolate and use as garnish and to nibble as you drink.  It adds just the right amount of sweet!  
Make sure to have a few extra chocolate covered Peeps on the side.  I realized just one wasn’t enough.


Just be careful…this sucker will sneak up on you in a heartbeat.  You’ve been warned.  May it make your Easter dinner just a little less stressful.  Enjoy.

*This post is sponsored by Peeps, but all the words and thoughts are products of my own brain.*


So This is Really Happening…

Living in the country we have days in which the UPS man pulling into the yard is the most traffic we see all day.  I had been waiting and waiting to see that brown truck this week and every day that passed with nothing was another day I sulked just a little.  Today he came and he had boxes.  Two of them.

My heart skipped a beat and I brought them in and put them on the table.  Since I knew what was inside I couldn’t bring myself to open them right away.  I was nervous.  I had heart palpitations and sweaty palms, I may have even let a little fart slip out as I jumped up and down in my excitement.  Then the reality sunk in.  Inside these boxes are books.  Not a bunch of books that I ordered to read for my own enjoyment.  Books.  THESE books:


<cue the tears>  These are books that contain my words.  Some of them may be dirty and to some inappropriate, but they are still mine.  My thoughts.  My words.  ACK!  It wasn’t real until I saw them and held one in my hands.  Now it’s official.  This is REALLY HAPPENING!

I grabbed the top one and opened it up and glanced at the table of contents and I think my knees buckled just a little.   To look at all those names of so many amazing women all in one place, with my name among them, was something that simply took my breath away.  It isn’t like it is a new development, this book has been in the works for months.  Some of these women I knew before.  Some of them I had read but didn’t know personally.  All of them I am getting to know better and better every day.



Since I operate on full disclosure and honesty I feel that I have to tell you that I have actually NOT read this book yet.  Not because I don’t want to, but because I’m afraid to and I didn’t have a copy.  When asked to contribute the list of other contributors was not disclosed.  I knew that Jen (People I Want to Punch in the Throat) would put together an amazing list of contributors and that alone made it difficult to write anything somewhat coherent.  I struggled for a month to write my piece for her and after a TON of editing I closed my eyes and hit the send button.  Once I discovered who all the incredible writers were that were going to be joining me on this adventure,  I may have thrown up a little.  These are some of the most talented and hilarious women on the interwebs.  Now I am in print with them.  Mind. Blown.

What I do know without even reading one single page is that this book is AMAZING.  To have thirty-seven amazing women all together inside one cover, brilliant.  To see thirty-seven women working together to make it succeed, brilliant.  To see thirty-seven women who may not necessarily share the same sense of humor or writing styles or beliefs do something so incredible is eye-watering.  I’m honored to be a part of this incredible adventure and can’t wait to see where it takes us.

I am in awe of their abilities.  I am humbled to be considered a writer of their caliber.  I’m still shittin bricks that my name is in that table of contents with all of these lovely ladies:

People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Insane in the Mom Brain
The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva
Baby Sideburns
Rants From Mommyland
The Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess
My Life and Kids
Bad Parenting Moments
Let Me Start By Saying
Frugalista Blog
Suburban Snapshots
Ninja Mom
Four Plus an Angel
Honest Mom
Binkies and Briefcases
Naps Happen
Kelley’s Break Room
Toulouse & Tonic
Hollow Tree Ventures
The Fordeville Diaries
Mom’s New Stage
Nurse Mommy Laughs
The Dose of Reality
The Mom of the Year
Life on Peanut Layne
Cloudy, With a Chance of Wine
Confessions of a Cornfed Girl
I Love Them Most When They’re Sleeping
Random Handprints
You’re My Favorite Today
Funny is Family
My Real Life

So, let’s cut the sappy shit, fricken PMS.  Who wants to win a copy?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller? Bueller?  (Sorry, couldn’t resist)  I’m going to give away at least one copy of “I Just Want to Pee Alone”.  It will be the winner’s choice of either a paper copy or a Kindle copy.  Depending on my mood and the number of entries, I may decide to do more copies you never know.  The winner(s) will be announced on Tuesday morning.  The more entries there are, the greater the chances of more copies to be handed out…for FREE!!!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Don’t want to wait to see if you win?  Want to buy a copy for your sister/girlfriend/wife/mother-in-law/OB-GYN/most hated enemy?  It won’t even cost you your first born child.  Here is all the info.  Once you read it, be sure to express your love for the book with a positive review on Amazon.  We will worship the ground you walk on if you do :)

Get it delivered to your door via Amazon:  I Just Want to Pee Alone

Download it to your Kindle here: I Just Want to Pee Alone

You Nook users can download it here: I Just Want to Pee Alone

You can even get it from iTunes here:  I Just Want to Pee Alone

A Full Serving of Laughs With a Side of Advice


Every day, hundreds of people decide to start a blog.  One of the best resources for advice is to ask other bloggers, and for some reason, people come to me for advice.  Little do they know that I don’t  have a damn clue what I am doing here, I just pretend I do and usually just pass on the advice that I have been given.   I have made many, many mistakes in my first year of blogging so instead of giving my advice,  I have asked some of my very funny friends to help me.  So please  sit back, adjust your Poise pad, have your notebook ready to take notes, and I hope a little advice from my friends goes a long way.


I have just started setting up my blog and I am not very good at design.  Can you give me some insight into what will keep my readers visual interest?  Thanks for your help~Color Blind

Dear Color Blind,

 A suggestion from my friend Paige Kellerman is to always put your entire post in red.  Readers love the interactive feel of having their corneas slowly burning while digesting your well thought-out content.  This is stellar advice if you are striving to drive your readers one step closer to blindness.  

Another important thing to remember is the organization of your sidebars.  There is nothing better than the appearance that you are in fact an advertising guru and not a writer.  I know personally, I love it when I try to read a blog and the ads have vomited all over the text.   As a matter of fact, Anna from My Life and Kids suggests this; Before writing your first post, be sure to load up your blog with ads, pop ups, and video ads. Make sure you get paid for every single page-view before you even start!  Brilliant Anna.  Simply brilliant. Once you are getting rich off of those ads, Kim from Let Me Start By Saying suggests you hire someone to create some fabulous graphics to fill the inches of open space in-between your ads; The more dancing graphics you have on the sidebars, the better, she suggests.

One last item  for you to consider adding just to make sure that your readers are fully annoyed before they leave.  From Allison motherhoodwtf?; People LOVE opening up a website and finding that it’s musical. What a great surprise! Pick your favorite music and give your readers a chance to get to know the bands you love.   Nothing would start your reader’s day off right like having to change their pants.  Take it from Kerry at HouseTalkNAdding music to your site is not good for the bladder impaired. It startles me into kegels every time.  Of course this decision is completely up to you, but I don’t know too many people who appreciate a heart attack brought on by Metallica first thing in the morning.

Hope this helps you just a bit.  Just remember, busy is key.  You want the words to be the last thing your readers look at.


I have been blogging for a while now, but  I simply cannot figure out why I am not getting any comments.  Could you please give me some helpful hints to help increase my comment count?  ~All Alone

Dear All Alone~

Comments are the bloggers equivalent of a football player’s slap on the ass.   JD from Honest Mom suggests you take these steps to help increase comment count; Be sure to make your would-be commenters jump through TONS of hoops to leave a comment on your blog. For example, don’t allow them to comment with their name and blog URL – make them register for an obsolete AIM or Open ID account! And of course, don’t forget to make them struggle to translate a CAPTCHA to leave a comment. We all love doing that! Ah yes, nothing like creating yet another account on another website on which you will never remember your log-in name and password.  That will surely get them to come back and comment on future posts.  

If you implement this plan and you are still not seeing an increase in your comments, you have no choice but to take it one step further.  Ninja Mom insists you take this final step to ensure you will see an immediate comment count that would make even the most popular of bloggers jealous; Add extra layers of security. Word verification’s good for keeping out spammers, but what about testing the loyalty of your 5 readers? Consider having them complete an accounting exam, or identify all of the former US vice presidents before being able to comment.  Boom.


Everyone tells me that I should comment on other blogs in order to help promote myself, to make my blog more visible to others.  I have been doing that but am not seeing an increase in visitors.  What do you think I’m doing wrong? ~Too Wordy

Dear Wordy~

Maybe your comments are too long and complex.  Take this advice from Robyn at Hollow Tree Ventures, it is certain to work;  Make sure to leave a comment – “LOL” always works, even on a serious post – to indicate that you enjoyed a blogger’s work. Then casually mention that you’ve started following them. A request for a follow-back and a link to your blog shows that you’re genuinely interested in developing a long-standing relationship, based on your appreciation and respect for whatever it was that person wrote about, which you really did read, pinkie-swear.

If that doesn’t work, you may have to resort to using DG’s favorite comments;  be sure to use the 3-two-word comments that bloggers love most…”loved it!” “well said!” and “amen sister” – this really conveys the point that the blog was total shite and/or you didn’t read it. That should really draw in the new readers.  Try it and get back to me.


I am have been working really hard trying to make a connection with other bloggers but am not getting any requests for guest posts or to join any communities.  Can you help me with that? ~Anti-Social

Dear Anti-Social~

Might I suggest you take in these suggestions from these more experienced bloggers;

Meredith from Mom of the Year: If you want to be featured in a series that a blogger is running, instead of asking her to participate (or ever commenting on her blog or contacting her in any other way), write a post about how stupid the blogger is and how she was snotty for not including you.  Publish the post, don’t tell her about it, and let her find it by checking her traffic sources.  This is truly the best way to go about networking and building relationships within the field.

Stephanie from Binkies and Briefcases: Need a blog mentor? Be sure to research your area and find all of the big bloggers who live around you. Email them and invite them to lunch. If they say no look up their phone numbers and call them directly. Be sure to leave lots of personal Facebook messages as well. You want them to know you are VERY interested.

Anna from Random Handprints loves it when she follows a blogger on Twitter, and then finds a DM asking her to visit their site, pin to their really great Pinterest Board, join their Google+ circle, not to mention buy their eBook, contribute to their IndieGoGo fund, and of course, like their Facebook page.  Because who doesn’t want to be hounded by every person they decide to follow on Twitter?  I know I love DM’s asking me to follow them on Facebook.  I just run right on over. 


I can’t seem to grow my readership, can you give me some suggestions on how to get more reads on my pieces? ~Struggling for Survival

Dear Struggling~

This may be a multi-level problem, first of all take this suggestion from Kathy at kissing the frog:  Feel free to write in stream of conciousness style while centering your text. Don’t bother with that silly spell check – just hit “publish” as soon as you’re done unloading your thoughts. You will appear spontaneous and quirky that way.

Courtney from Our Small Moments suggests that you try this:  Conventions stifle creativity.  No one really cares about commas, paragraphs, and periods, especially avid readers.

Once you have the spelling and grammar down pat, you may try this advice from Jen at PIWTPITT:  I love it when bloggers only write something new every three weeks or so.  I make sure to take time out every day to visit just to make sure I haven’t missed something.  I so look forward to that one post a month and it really keeps that blog fresh in my mind.

Since this is my blog, I suppose I will offer up this one piece of advice.  Please make sure to post two or more times per day.  It is super easy for me to keep up with all those posts since I have nothing else to do with my day but sit and read only your posts.  Please, once you have an idea, write it and post it even if you just posted something an hour ago.  No need to save that for another day when you don’t have an idea to write about.

If you get nothing else out of this post, I hope that at least you could get a good laugh.  Really, these ladies are some of the funniest people I know and their expertise is second to none.   None of us are perfect, but at least we can have fun and laugh about it.

You Wanted to Know, So I’m Telling

I have done a few other posts about myself, for example the one I so creatively titled, Who Am I?, or there is Me, Pioneer Woman?, or one of my faves, What Do I LOOK Like?. Wow, this is starting to give me a superiority complex.  Today I am tired, and now, after typing this blog for the third time, I am frustrated.  I decided to ask the people who really “like” me for some help.  You know, my Facebook friends, all of them.  Here are few of their questions and my honest answers.  Yes, I promise to be honest.

From Toni: What is your favorite 4th of July memory?
Hmmm….I don’t know that I have that one memory that stands out.  I would have the say that this holiday has become more enjoyable since I had kids.  We go to a parade, and they get so excited for fireworks.  They dig blowing stuff up.
From Tina:  Favorite summer time activity that doesn’t cost and arm and a leg?
The pool.  Even if it is a total body workout chasing PITA around, they have a blast and it makes for early bed times.
From Yvette:  What is your dream?
I am living my dream.  I wanted to be a mother and a wife. That’s it.  Plus now this blogging thing is working out pretty well too.  Life is good.
From Connie:  What is your favorite season?
Normally I would say summer, but right now my kids are driving me bat-shit CRAZY so I am going with fall.  I love the colors, the temperatures, and the smells are so exhilarating!
From Rosemary:  If you could choose one moment in your life to re-live, for reasons good or bad, what would it be?
Oofta, these guys are deep thinkers in the morning.  I would have to say, at the risk of sounding cheesy, my wedding day.  It was such a fabulous day with all our family and friends, and even despite the ice storm that hit during the reception (it was January in Kansas), it was seriously one of the most AMAZING days of my life.
From Teresa:  Have you ever been to West Virginia before?
Yes.  Drove through on our way to set up shop in North Carolina.  Drove a U-Haul full of our crap through the mountains.  Good times, good times.  (Can you sense the sarcasm there?)  Really, West Virginia is beautiful.
From Melissa:  We know you moved around a bit, why?  Why did you settle back in Kansas?
Farmer Bob went to work for “the man” after graduating from college.  It took us to NC and TX and after 7 years and 2 kids we decided that we needed to come home.  We were both born and raised here and Bob wanted to work for himself.  Farming really is his second true love, after me of course. :)
From Tonya:  What is your shoe size?
I have, as my Granny once told me, a “firm foundation”.  Size 10 and I’m not afraid to use them.
From Kimberly:  Besides coffee, what gets you motivated?
My kids, I have no choice.  5 balls of energy that feed off each other, what else would I need?
From Karen: What did you want to be when you were a little girl?
For a long time I knew I was going to be an astronaut.  Then the vision went to crap and I realized that I was completely inept at math and science and I then knew that I was meant to be a teacher and a mother.  I think it was a much better choice!
From Kari:  What is your favorite college ball team and what is your favorite sport?
No brainer.  I proudly wear purple and cheer for my Kansas State Wildcats.  I am counting the days until kickoff, life just isn’t the same without college football.

I am making this! Cle
From Karen:  How old are you and how many kids do you have?
I am 37 and have 5 kids.  You can meet them here.
From Selena:  Are you really a woman or some “guy” that has a thing for moms and are using this group to speak to us?
Last time I checked I had a fully functioning vagina, and yes, I am using this group to speak to you.  It is either you or the voices in my head.
From Helen:  How in the hell do you get anything done between your kids, your blog, and your Facebook page?
Good question.  I do most of my blogging at night, most of Facebook via mobile, and I don’t really keep up with the house or the kids.  Lets admit it, only if you have a maid, nanny, personal assistant, and a chef would that really happen.  I have none of the above.  Juggling, constant juggling.
From Darla:  Do you fart in public and then run away so no one knew it was you?
Doesn’t everybody?  No?  Oops, my bad.  Excuse me.  I think we can all agree that farts are funny.
From Michelle:  Do you have a favorite extended family member?  One that visits you often that you like to drink wine with?
I do have a favorite aunt that doesn’t visit often enough.  I love to drink wine with her when she does though.  Downside? Her kids are a pain in the ass.
From Beth: Do you have any siblings?
One brother and we will just leave it at that.
From Ruby:  What’s your take on Rush Limbaugh?
I avoid political banter like the plague.  I have my beliefs, you have yours, and we will let it go from there.
From Meegan:  How do you feel about pantyhose, chiropractors, and aliens?
I don’t care for any of them.  Particularly pantyhose.
From my dear friend IJHM: Farmer Bob and the farm…what can we thank ya’ll for?
I LOVE this question.  Wheat, corn, soybeans, sorghum, alfalfa, cows, sheep, and kids. I think that about covers it.
From Rosalind:  Who is your favorite actor?
Ummm….I think someone is new here.

5’10 inches of fabulous
Here are a couple of their favorite posts and a couple of mine:

 A big, HUGE thank you to my friends for helping me out with this.  So many great questions and if I didn’t answer yours here, I will try to answer some on Facebook today.  You guys really do bring a smile to my face each and every day.  Don’t forget to join me on Twitter, Pinterest, and Google +.  All the appropriate “join me” buttons are up there somewhere.

Who Needs a Beverage?

If you don’t already know, I graduated from Kansas State University.  Just off campus we have an area that we refer to as “Aggieville”.  It has shops, a bookstore, eateries, and bars.  Many wonderful, amazing bars.  The best part of Aggieville?  It is walking distance from campus.  We would go to class, well most of the time we would go to class, and afterwards we would walk to Aggieville and enjoy a beverage or 10 then walk home of course.  One of our favorite dining/drinking establishments is Rock-A-Belly Deli.  They serve fantastic sandwiches, but more importantly, they serve what we like to call….


Summer Beers

  Ice cubes
9 ounces fresh lemonade
One 12-ounce bottle beer (go with a nice American brew in this one)
1 1/2 ounces vodka
Lemon slice for garnish
Mix all together and enjoy….YUM.


Take a 1 gallon pitcher (I use the Pampered Chef easy stir, makes it easy!)
Dump in the following:
1 can frozen Limeade concentrate
use empty can to add Tequila.  The first pitcher usually has about 1/2 a can, the second pitcher about 3/4 of a can, after that it really doesn’t matter anymore.
1 Bottle of Corona

Top off pitcher with Lemon-Lime soda

Mix all together and enjoy…good on summer days on the patio, or winter days in front of the fire, or bad mommy days, you get the picture.  I also like to dump in some frozen berries for added flavor!  Sorry, no pic for this one, they don’t normally last long enough.

One more for you; recipe and picture courtesy of  Barefoot Wines:


3 oz of Barefoot Bubbly Moscato Spumante
1 oz. Lemon Juice
1.5 oz Simple Syrup
1 oz Pomegranate Juice

Pour all in blender with 1/2 cup of ice til slushy.  These are DELICIOUS!!!

Did you buy the book yet?  No???  WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??  You NEED it.  Your MOM needs it.  Your SISTER needs it.  Your PEDIATRICIAN  needs it.  Your worst ENEMY needs it.  Get all the details here, and be sure to leave a glowing review when you are done!!  Thanks for all your support as always. You guys are amazing.  xoxo