Have You Found All Your Pieces?

Lately life has felt like a puzzle.  A puzzle right out of the box with pieces scattered, turned every which way, some upside down, some right side up.  Some gathered in a pile, some flung across the table.  It’s pure chaos.  I’ve been trying to gather my pieces and reassemble myself into a beautiful picture but have been unsure about my ability to achieve such a lofty goal.  It’s so hard to find the time to take a break, to leave everything behind and take some time to organize all the pieces.  Taking time to find the misplaced pieces and to throw out the few pieces that don’t belong anymore.  There comes a time when you must stop, look at the picture on the box, and take a good look at all the pieces to decide what needs to be done in order to put the puzzle back together.


I teach my kids to always do the edges first because they are the most vital part to the puzzle.  They are the starting point.  They give you the boundaries, and idea of how the rest of the puzzle will go together.  If the edges are all screwed up, the rest of the puzzle is fucked.  It’s unorganized and you are not even able to complete it.  Farmer Bob, he’s my edges.  I honestly can not do a damn thing without him.  He’s not afraid to tell me when I’m being a total jackhole and he always gives me support and help when I need it.  He keeps me grounded and helps me keep my pieces together.

It had been eleven years since we had gone anywhere alone.  Eleven years.  Think about that for a minute.  It is redonkulous and embarrassing to even say out loud.  Even though we see each other every day, it had been ELEVEN YEARS (have you picked up that it has been too damn long?) since we had taken the time to do something for just us.  While we are confident that we  have all of our edge pieces properly assembled, we realized that it had been entirely too long since we had taken the time to make damn sure that all the pieces are in the right place.  This weekend we straightened our edges.  Meals alone without stopping to take someone pee or to cut up someone’s steak, great times with some great friends, naps, a few drinks, and The Black Keys.  Edge pieces….check.

Now it’s time to put together the rest of the puzzle. There are so many different pieces that all have to fit together just right in order to complete the picture.  Some pieces have gotten lost along the way and the search is on in order to find them.  Some pieces have been bent in half or become mangled and will have to be straightened out, or even glued together, in order to fit again.  Some pieces are in the box but don’t fit in the puzzle and will need to be removed.  Some pieces have been right there all this time, and even thought it was believed that they did not even fit into this puzzle, they may actually end up being the that one piece that has been missing the entire time.  It is even possible to find some new pieces that you thought would never fit in your puzzle, but to your delight they fit just like they have been there from the beginning.

Take the time to look at your puzzle.  Really look at all of the pieces.  Spread them out, turn them over, sort them out, and really look at them.   It isn’t an easy task that is for sure.  There is nothing easy about searching for the lost pieces and it is hard as hell to throw out the pieces that don’t fit any longer, but taking the time to really look at them before putting them together is so enlightening and refreshing and at times frightening.

This weekend I finally took some time to examine my pieces.  I turned them all right side up, found some pieces that were lost, decided that some pieces just don’t fit so they  needed to be removed, and remembered exactly what the final picture is supposed to look like.  While I still have some work to do before I have a puzzle worthy of some permanent glue, at least now I have the right pieces in my possession and judging by the picture on the box, I think the final product is going to be pretty fucking spectacular.

Look at Your Pieces




  1. Oh my goodness. This is gorgeous, and I so appreciated knowing that I’m not the only one who feels like I’ve totally lost track of my pieces. I love the hope and encouragement you’ve provided here. Thanks for this…

  2. This is a perfect analogy. I am in the process of fixing my puzzle, as well. Good luck to you. :)

  3. Wow. I needed this. My puzzle is desperately needing to be looked at. Love ya babe, glad you and Farmer Bob got some time together. I’m guessing his puzzle piece fit in your puzzle piece.

  4. Wow – – this is absolutely beautiful. Never really thought of it that way – so perfectly written.

  5. My husband and I did this the other day. We sent Boo to school and went to lunch. Together. By ourselves. It felt kind of weird to not have someone on my lap or eating off my plate. But I am so happy we got to experience it :)

  6. What a lovely analogy and wonderful advice!

  7. This is a beautiful piece. I love the analogy of the puzzle. It does sometimes feel like we are in pieces, but, always a beautiful picture awaits. Such an inspiring thought. I really, really loved this. I love you too, my smart sweet friend. Your puzzle is amazing.

  8. Oh I love this…we all need to walk away and return with fresh eyes from time to time. I’m so glad you had that opportunity this weekend! If anyone deserves it…it’s you, momma! xoxo

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