Have You Laughed Today?

We need more funny.   There are just too many negative, heart wrenching, horrible, tragic, craptastic things that really screw up a good day.  I find the best way to combat the uglies is to laugh.  Not just ha ha, but a HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA kind of laugh.  The kind of laugh that makes you lose control of your bodily functions.  Don’t say you don’t know what I’m talking about because you’ve all farted while having a good laugh.  Maybe you’ve peed.  There is always the possibility that you’ve done both at the same time.   I’m not speaking from experience, I’ve just heard stories .

In an effort to bring more laughter to my very small and minute corner of the interwebs, allow me to deliver to you some funny.  If you get through this and you don’t laugh at least once, even just a snicker or a smirk, then I will be truly be worried about you.

Have You Laughed Today?

Before we get into this too deep, you must take the pledge.  That’s right, I’m making you take a pledge.  Now repeat after me:

I <say your name here> (and I really mean say YOUR name.  SAY IT!) promise to laugh at least once during this post.  If I don’t smile or giggle even once I promise to remove the proverbial stick from my ass and read it again.  If I still don’t find it funny,  I promise not to be a spreader of internet herpes and I will just move along.  I also promise to be an ambassador of funny and will make it my goal to make one other person on this planet laugh today.  If I cannot make it happen today, I will try even harder to make it happen tomorrow.  I make this pledge and promise to myself because having a kick-ass sense of humor is so much better than being an asshole.

OK…Now that the technicalities are out of the way, let us begin.

The other night I saw a commercial for Casey’s pizza.  I swear at the end it says “penis for pizza”.  Since I possess the sense of humor of a twelve-year-old boy this makes me giggle.  I then had to ask my Facebook friends for words that make them giggle.  If you can make it through this list of words without laughing once, you may be too mature.  Try it:

Dictator, flatulence, scrotum, doodoo, poop, balls, sack, super duty, Uranus, tits, penetration, lubrication, thrust, erector, weiner, poppycock, tallywackers, vagina, jackwagon, underwear,  lake titicaca, farts, annnnnd….dooky.

I lose it at dictator, but again I am immature.

You all know that as parents/grandparents/guardians of kids (both of the human and furry varieties) we find the most random crap around the house.  I also took this to the Facebook just to see if the level of nasty around my house is equivalent to those of my friends. For those of you wondering what I meant when I said that I find “saucy underwear”, just think of a kid who over-trusted a fart.  I guarantee you will laugh at the responses to this post:

 

Laughing yet?  NO????  Surely you’ve laughed at least once so far???  If not keep reading because I have some pretty funny friends.

 

Why don’t you try this from my friend Kerry at House Talk’N.  She is determined to bring back the dickie <giggle, she said dickie>.  Watch this vlog and try not to snicker every time they say “dickie”.

 

If you are feeling like a terrible parent thanks to Pinterest, you can always check out this post by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Nick Mom and know that you aren’t alone.

Need help figuring out if you can be friends with the other moms?  Have them answer this short questionnaire devised by Kim on In the Powder Room (who I now know is destined to be my sister-wife)

Surely you’ve seen this video that has been all over the interwebs.  It had Farmer Bob laughing so it must be funny:

Are you laughing yet?  You better be because laughter kicks ass.

No?  Here’s my last offer.  If you can read this (and you MUST listen to the clip at the end) from my very dear friend Katy and you don’t at least smile…you have issues.

Now go, complete your mission and make someone else laugh.

 

Comments

comments

Comments

  1. Yep, somewhere during the pledge I started laughing.
    El Guapo recently posted…Friday Foolishness – Immaculate EditionMy Profile

  2. LOVE IT!!! Was already laughing during the pledge. The word heinous makes me laugh. :)
    Beth Teliho recently posted…Blogging Takes Big Hairy BallsMy Profile

  3. Well, I DO have issues, but I was also in need of a laugh. And a hot handy man to come over and clean out my gutters (unfortunately, that’s not a euphemism). You’re only offering the former and not the latter, so I was grasping at what I could get ;)
    Abby recently posted…Waxing PoeticMy Profile

  4. Tashonda Malloy says:

    Now I have Justin Timberlake in my head singing “I’m bringing Dickies back…”.

  5. yep, dictator and poop. hahahaha…. good grief, I always crack up with those :)

    I really needed this today–the last few weeks were really hard for me. I, too, love a good belly busting laugh each day. I pledge to post only funny shit from now on. Alright, maybe not funny, but at least, not too serious.
    mila bulic recently posted…The Baker ArrivesMy Profile

  6. Bathroom humor always gets me. I can’t help it, I live with five males.
    Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted…Can We Reduce Pediatric Cancer to Zero? Why Not?My Profile

  7. When my oldest son was so very much younger (5yo) he had snaked a dietetic chocolate pudding from the fridge. Not knowing the short term effects on a toddler, we proceeded to head to the local library. Imagine my surprise and my son came running out the of the bathroom stark raving nekkid with his soiled TMNT underwear in his hands crying at the top his lungs. I tried so very hard to be sympathetic but had to hide behind a book to keep the laughter from causing him emotional harm.

    • Patience Venditelli says:

      OMG! I started crackin up when I read about him snaking the chocolate! I could already picture the results…omg that poor kid..

    • carol o from corpus christi tx says:

      now THAT IS FUNNY !!!!! Kinda reminds me of the time when my 5-year-old was “hunting” in the back yard with his BB gun and had climbed a tree, I was doing some mother thing in the kitchen when I heard the crying word “MOM MOM HELP ME MOM”, I ran out the backdoor and found my 5-year-old son hanging from a tree by a belt loop on his pants, yes, I did get him down, but not until I ran back inside to get my camera, all the while laughing, my poor son crying hanging from the tree by his belt loop, ……. somewhere not too long ago my now 30-something son told me he was scarred by that incident?????

  8. Francene Kaufman says:

    My grandson, who is now 5 yrs old, had problems with some words as a toddler. He just could not get the word “frog” around his tongue. It came out more of a “fruck” with the “R” sometimes silent. So if we were out and we saw any pix of frogs, we would quickly turn him so he did not see, cause the kid loved frogs. My family gathered together at my favorite steak house for my birthday, and why did the little coloring page and crayons have a big picture of a frog. So he yells out, “Fruck, Nana, Fruck!!”. I just dropped my head and started laughing quietly. Finally, his dad, my son says, yeppper buddy. After we explained to the others around us, it was very funny, and he proudly showed everyone his painted “fruck”. So I always smile and giggle at frogs.

  9. Wasn’t that post-surgery video HILARIOUS?! “You’re really my wife? I hit the jackpot!” Bahahahaha!!!
    WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustion recently posted…Oversharing: Baby Fingers, Mommy’s Kisses, and a Date with the Porcelain ThroneMy Profile

  10. I just found your site via Moms Who Swear and Drink’s Facebook page, and I’m so glad that I did. My sanity is being tested by a four month old taskmaster as I type this comment one handed, and you’ve given me enough LOLz that I think I can make it through the day. Thank you.
    Haley recently posted…The Hawkeye InitiativeMy Profile

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