We need more funny. There are just too many negative, heart wrenching, horrible, tragic, craptastic things that really screw up a good day. I find the best way to combat the uglies is to laugh. Not just ha ha, but a HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA kind of laugh. The kind of laugh that makes you lose control of your bodily functions. Don’t say you don’t know what I’m talking about because you’ve all farted while having a good laugh. Maybe you’ve peed. There is always the possibility that you’ve done both at the same time. I’m not speaking from experience, I’ve just heard stories .
In an effort to bring more laughter to my very small and minute corner of the interwebs, allow me to deliver to you some funny. If you get through this and you don’t laugh at least once, even just a snicker or a smirk, then I will be truly be worried about you.
Before we get into this too deep, you must take the pledge. That’s right, I’m making you take a pledge. Now repeat after me:
I <say your name here> (and I really mean say YOUR name. SAY IT!) promise to laugh at least once during this post. If I don’t smile or giggle even once I promise to remove the proverbial stick from my ass and read it again. If I still don’t find it funny, I promise not to be a spreader of internet herpes and I will just move along. I also promise to be an ambassador of funny and will make it my goal to make one other person on this planet laugh today. If I cannot make it happen today, I will try even harder to make it happen tomorrow. I make this pledge and promise to myself because having a kick-ass sense of humor is so much better than being an asshole.
OK…Now that the technicalities are out of the way, let us begin.
The other night I saw a commercial for Casey’s pizza. I swear at the end it says “penis for pizza”. Since I possess the sense of humor of a twelve-year-old boy this makes me giggle. I then had to ask my Facebook friends for words that make them giggle. If you can make it through this list of words without laughing once, you may be too mature. Try it:
Dictator, flatulence, scrotum, doodoo, poop, balls, sack, super duty, Uranus, tits, penetration, lubrication, thrust, erector, weiner, poppycock, tallywackers, vagina, jackwagon, underwear, lake titicaca, farts, annnnnd….dooky.
I lose it at dictator, but again I am immature.
You all know that as parents/grandparents/guardians of kids (both of the human and furry varieties) we find the most random crap around the house. I also took this to the Facebook just to see if the level of nasty around my house is equivalent to those of my friends. For those of you wondering what I meant when I said that I find “saucy underwear”, just think of a kid who over-trusted a fart. I guarantee you will laugh at the responses to this post:
Laughing yet? NO???? Surely you’ve laughed at least once so far??? If not keep reading because I have some pretty funny friends.
Why don’t you try this from my friend Kerry at House Talk’N. She is determined to bring back the dickie <giggle, she said dickie>. Watch this vlog and try not to snicker every time they say “dickie”.
If you are feeling like a terrible parent thanks to Pinterest, you can always check out this post by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Nick Mom and know that you aren’t alone.
Need help figuring out if you can be friends with the other moms? Have them answer this short questionnaire devised by Kim on In the Powder Room (who I now know is destined to be my sister-wife)
Surely you’ve seen this video that has been all over the interwebs. It had Farmer Bob laughing so it must be funny:
Are you laughing yet? You better be because laughter kicks ass.
No? Here’s my last offer. If you can read this (and you MUST listen to the clip at the end) from my very dear friend Katy and you don’t at least smile…you have issues.
Now go, complete your mission and make someone else laugh.