When it comes to birthdays, us moms (and you dads too, but since I’m a mom I’m using that term), are often overlooked. It doesn’t happen on purpose. It doesn’t happen because no one cares. It doesn’t happen because we aren’t loved. It happens because, well because shit happens.
So when Hallmark approached me to talk about Birthday Fails, I thought that maybe they are just waiting to hire me to write witty, best-selling birthday cards for them. So I thought why not get ahead of the game and come up with a couple of cards to kind of build up my repertoire. That way I have a few bargaining chips when it comes time to negotiate a salary.
See if you think Hallmark would be interested in these sentimental cards.
Let’s see, how about this one for those farmers (not Farmer Bob, but other farmers <ahem>) who are out working hard on their spouse’s birthday:
We all love choosing where (and what) we eat on our birthday. Surely you don’t cook on your birthday? I mean, I usually do (see card above) but I just know that your kids love taking you out to a special dinner:
After dinner, you only hope for the perfect gift. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always the thought that counts (like a free hat from the Co-Op), but it’s the really thoughtful gifts that keep on giving. All. Year. Long.:
I suppose they could always go for the tattoo to prove their love…um……
Luckily for you, Hallmark isn’t beating down my door to write cards. They hire real professionals, like these guys, to make the perfect cards to take that birthday from a #BirthdayFail, to a #BirthdayWin.
If I were you, I’d stick with them. They actually know what they are doing. Your mom/wife/husband/kid/dog/cousins-sisters-boyfriends-daughter will thank you.
This post has been sponsored by Hallmark, but the words and thoughts are all my own
Do you think I have a chance? Tweet me (@YKIHAYHT) and Hallmark (@Hallmark) using #BirthdayFail. Maybe they’ll give me a shot!