I Think I Have a Future With Hallmark #BirthdayFail

When it comes to birthdays, us moms (and you dads too, but since I’m a mom I’m using that term), are often overlooked.   It doesn’t happen on purpose.  It doesn’t happen because no one cares.  It doesn’t happen because we aren’t loved.  It happens because, well because shit happens.

So when Hallmark approached me to talk about Birthday Fails,  I thought that maybe they are just waiting to hire me to write witty, best-selling birthday cards for them.  So I thought why not get ahead of the game and come up with a couple of cards to kind of build up my repertoire.  That way I have a few bargaining chips when it comes time to negotiate a salary.

See if you think Hallmark would be interested in these sentimental cards.

Let’s see, how about this one for those farmers (not Farmer Bob, but other farmers <ahem>) who are out working hard on their spouse’s birthday:

Farmer #BirthdayFail

Farmer #BirthdayFail

We all love choosing where (and what) we eat on our birthday.  Surely you don’t cook on your birthday?  I mean, I usually do (see card above) but I just know that your kids love taking you out to a special dinner:

Dinner #BirthdayFail

Dinner #BirthdayFail

After dinner, you only hope for the perfect gift.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s always the thought that counts (like a free hat from the Co-Op), but it’s the really thoughtful gifts that keep on giving.  All. Year. Long.:

Nice try kids, but laundry is a massive #BirthdayFail

Nice try kids, but laundry is a massive #BirthdayFail

I suppose they could always go for the tattoo to prove their love…um……

Tattoo #BirthdayFail

Tattoo #BirthdayFail

Luckily for you, Hallmark isn’t beating down my door to write cards.  They hire real professionals, like these guys,  to make the perfect cards to take that birthday from a #BirthdayFail, to a #BirthdayWin.

If I were you, I’d stick with them.  They actually know what they are doing. Your mom/wife/husband/kid/dog/cousins-sisters-boyfriends-daughter will thank you.



This post has been sponsored by Hallmark, but the words and thoughts are all my own

Do you think I have a chance?  Tweet me (@YKIHAYHT) and Hallmark (@Hallmark) using #BirthdayFail.  Maybe they’ll give me a shot!




  1. Brilliant cards, and so accurate! I wish my family had forgotten my birthday this year the present was an all time low!!

  2. so stinking funny!!!!

  3. Omg! The co-op gift thing happened to me too! My birthday is usually pretty close to planting time. So for my birthday he was out buying himself some fancy new gps planting stuff… And I got a free Tshirt that was 2 sizes to big (it did fit hubby tho… Just a coincidence right?) but to make up for it he made me a birthday cake… But ate half of it with the boy while I was napping… Before I even got to see it… And I’m pretty sure I cooked supper too… But at least hubby told boy that I was only turning 21. So I guess I’ll keep him :)

  4. When I asked for something a little dirty for my birthday….I didn’t want laundry.
    You are so funny…Hallmark’s stock would sore if you worked there!!

  5. gill sherry says:

    So true! i can relate to all of the above well said..

  6. Christine says:

    Laundry, the gift that just keeps giving. ;)

  7. There’s no way my family forgets my birthday, resulting in a #birthdayfail. I make a big production out of it by talking up my birthday month, spoiling myself (and claiming it was a gift from the kids, the dog, the cat we don’t have…) and demanding everyone remember my special day. That’s how I roll. Hope Hallmark picks you up because I love the shit out of you.

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