Should You Really Be On The Internet?

My friend Kenny Rogers says:  ”You gotta know when to hold em.  Know when to fold em. Know when to walk away.  Know when to run.”

This song pops in my head every time I get on the internet.  Every. Time.

All over these here interwebs, someone is being a total dickhead to someone else.  Granted, some people really do deserve it, but for the most part all I see is the herp.  Herpes here, herpes there, herpes all over the damn place.  After a while, it sucks the life out of your soul.   It eats away your brain like a flesh eating amoeba and before you even realize it you have become one of them.  Spewing your hatred all over the screen for all to see.  Spreading the herp from one post to another.

Oh, look at her with her perfect little family.  What a bitch.

Does he want a gold medal for taking care of  his kids?  What an arrogant douchebag.

That is the ugliest dog I’ve ever seen.  They should just put it down.

The admin of this page is a LOSER.  Get a life and get a boyfriend.

Hate, hate, hate.  It’s everywhere and it’s repulsive.

There are people just as dumb as me (some even dumber) and so many people that are so much smarter than I that provide the content that entertains all of us on a minute-by-minute basis.  Did you catch that?  I said that there are PEOPLE providing the content that you read on your little screen.  PEOPLE.

People, because cats can’t make all those stupid memes, they don’t even have thumbs or internet access.

PEOPLE.  People keep the interwebs alive.  People with feelings.  People with lives. People that feel real emotion.

Granted, some people have cold black hearts, but they are still PEOPLE.


Before you log on the next time, I ask you to follow this simple flow chart.  It really only takes a second and it should be referred to on a daily basis:

Do you pass?

Do you pass?

It’s hard to shut your pie hole when you read something on the internet that infuriates you.  Oh, it’s SOOOOOO HARD.

But you know what isn’t hard?  Scrolling.  That’s right, scroll right on by that motherfucker.   Try it.  I triple dog dare you.

*Authors note:  Kenny Rogers isn’t really my friend, but if he met me I’m sure he’d want to be my friend*





  1. I love it! I found myself nodding my head the entire way through. You nailed it!
    Peanutlayne recently posted…DogVacay Hometown Photo CampaignMy Profile

  2. A to the men, sister. Like you read my mind. Scary for you.
    Daddy Knows Less recently posted…Watching the WavesMy Profile

  3. For a taste of your whiskey, I’ll give you some advice…
    God I love that song.
    This has been a bad couple of weeks on the internet. Everyone should use the flowchart.
    If you are an asshole, do not pass go, do not turn the computer on. Just go away.
    love you girl DG
    DG recently posted…A Case of the Mondays on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays.My Profile

  4. Excellent advice but the assholes won’t read the flow chart, or will read it and write some asshole remark about it.
    mike recently posted…Wordless Wednesday #2My Profile

  5. You just know that flowchart is going to be too hard for some people, right? :) Ellen
    Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms recently posted…What Parents Can Do: Trust But Verify #NotMyTeenMy Profile

  6. “scroll right on by that motherfucker” Gawd I love you.
    Frugalistablog recently posted…Can we all just slow down?My Profile

  7. Long Live Kenny (I just quoted the same lyrics in a post too – he is an inspiration for bloggers everywhere). I also agree with everything else you say. I don’t understand the hate.
    Amy recently posted…Aging gracefully, like a tugboatMy Profile

  8. Love this, too bad it’s not required reading before getting on the Internet!
    Anna recently posted…Do you know there’s a Nickelodeon for moms? Check out NickMom! It’s #MotherFunny!My Profile

  9. Know what you mean. I have to follow this advice every time I see someone mention a Fox News comment.
    You could be Kenny Rogers’ friend. Just go see him in Branson this Christmas. :)
    Katy B. recently posted…BoomMy Profile

  10. It’s easy to be a critic behind the protection of a computer screen.

  11. I was just going to leave a really long post here but it was getting so long that I deleted it and will resurrect it in the future as another blog post. And now I kind of wish I didn’t delete it, because what am I supposed to say here? Hmm.
    Angel The Alien recently posted…Pretty Sure I Broke My Brain.My Profile

  12. I love that song!! And I couldn’t agree more, just look away or scroll on past.

  13. Ryan Paredez (@RyanParedez) says:

    I think it’s generally the assholes that make the internet so good/funny. There is a limit though. Bullying is not okay, but trolling on threads is great.

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